Commitment (The Question)

What are you committed to? What things to you make a conscious effort to commit to? When you examine your life, do you find things that you're committed to you didn't even know about? Let me know in the comments, I'll have my own thoughts up in a day or so.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hmm... 2:40 A.M., I just finished soldering some pieces of our house heater together, I'm wired and I have to work in the morning. Happy Thanksgiving!

Regular posting will resume in a day or so..

Faith

"Farmers don't plant in the rain. They plant seeds believing for the rain to come."

Writing or Typing?

I'm sitting here working on a post for tomorrow, lost in thought, when my mom comes in and we have this very short conversation:

Mom: What are you doing?

Me: I'm writing.

Mom: If you're using your keyboard are you actually writing.. or are you typing?

Me: I... don't really know.

So which is it? Am I writing? Typing? My mom later suggested that maybe I'm composing. What are your thoughts?

Who Am I? [YouTube]

I don't have any deep thought of the day, at least, no deep thoughts that have been completed and put to words, but I thought I'd share a cool video my mom emailed to me recently. The song is Who Am I? by Casting Crowns, but I'm not sure who made the video.

Back Up

It's interesting how just a few little changes will cause many more big ones. For example, over the past year I've become rather, well, addicted to facebook. It's so easy to spend hours upon hours doing absolutely nothing! Well, I finally got fed up with myself and decided to just not log on for a week. Alright, so check this out...

...so far no one has died.
...I've actually started writing again.
...I've had more real conversations instead of stupid, meaningless messages on other people's walls.
...oddly enough, I'm happier without the facebook drama!

My advice to you? If there is something you find yourself addicted to, no matter what it is, take just a week away from it and see what happens. Maybe you don't need to watch TV as much as you think. Maybe the world won't end if you don't IM for a week or if you even didn't check your email more than once a day. Take a step back for just seven days and let me know if your perspective changes. Mine did.

Sacrifice

"Self-sacrifice is very easy. But sacrificing someone you love puts your convictions to the test."

I don't have time to expand on that right now, but I walked by the TV while my brother was watching First Knight and those words struck a chord inside me.

Lets Roll

I miss the days of working with other rebelutionaries on a weekly basis. I remember joining up with the old Virtue Mag team as they were just preparing to launch at the end of 2004. It was an exciting year, working with other people about my age on a magazine and learning all the pains and joys that go with running a magazine. I learned a lot, but eventually a few of us there realized that we had a bit of a different goal and a different vision. So we said farewell, and launched into another venture which would soon be called Regenerate Our Culture. Man, oh man, was that a ride!

We had lots of ideas there, many goals and a lot of inspiration, but we all seemed to be short on time, money and most importantly, the experience to really pull off the things we wanted to do. Eventually, I left because I simply needed to sit back and evaluate my own life. A month or so ago, the remaining members decided to put the project on hold because of time constraints all around.

These two projects both started out with noble goals. The first was to give a united voice to young home schoolers. The second was to equip young people with the information they needed to regenerate a dying culture.

As an aside, there was actually a third between the two. A project I started with another group of friends called A SideTracked Focus. It was supposed to be an online Bible study, but it never even seemed to get off the ground.

I'm not sure exactly where I'm going with all of this except to say that I'm ready. I'm ready to jump back in, somehow, some way, I want to get involved again. I have a little bit of extra time and there is no reason to waste the skills and knowledge I've picked up over the last few years. I don't know exactly what I'll be doing, but I cannot sit around doing nothing anymore.

Timing, Patience, Trust and Relationship

Should I sign up this week?

Do I go next semester?

Is now the right time?

Should I ask now?

How am I supposed to know when the time is right?

Why do I ask questions that I already know the answer to? Like this one. I know why I ask. I ask because I don't like the answer. I don't want the answer to be, "Seek God." That's not a simple yes or no! It's that age old story about the kid (that's me) who wants patience but he wants it right now!

When the pastor tells me that all the answers are found in the Bible, I want it to go like this...

Me: Pastor, should I major in music or computer science?

Pastor: First we will label music as number one and computer science as number two. Now your answer will be found in Matthew 6:33.

Me: Amen, pastor! Okay, alright, let me look that verse up. Mathew, Matthew... oh, right, here it is!

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

What does that mean, pastor?

Pastor: Never mind what it says! What's the third letter of the fifth word?

Me: Umm... G?

Pastor: Alright, now count up to G and tell me what number it is.

Me: Okay, lets see. One is A, two is B, three is...

Pastor: Shh! I'm busy here, count in your head!

Me: Oh, sorry... it's seven!

Pastor: Good, good. Seven is an odd number just like one, and one is the number we gave for music. So, according to Matthew 6:33, you, my friend, are to major in music!

Just a Bible verse and a quick little bit of counting and you've got an answer. No pain, no waiting, no wondering what the next step is, nothing but a quick answer.

It would be amazing. Except, where is the relationship in that? Where is the faith, the trust that our very salvation rests upon? As frustrating as the wait can be, it builds our faith and prepares us for the bigger things to come. If anything, it should be encouragement to grow closer to God so we can better hear his voice and direction. Now if I can only remember that...

God, you know my thoughts, my wants and desires, feelings and emotions. You know when I need direction before I even know I'm on a new journey! Thank you for this chance to grow closer to you. Help me to not become frustrated with where I am, but instead to learn how to completely trust you with every aspect of my life. Light my path, guide my steps and allow your glory to shine throughout this journey.

Getting tested

Never, no, never, ever, ever, say that you are having a great day, unless you want that fact to be tested. Period.

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I was definitely reminded of this the hard way the other day at work. I was talking to a friend online and she asked how my day was going. I told her that it was actually a really good day. I just felt good about it. Not even ten minutes after that it seems like everything went downhill! I had a few really bad calls, my computer crashed in the middle of one of them, and all of the sudden I just wanted to was get out of there!

I'll admit, for about 30 minutes there, I just went with it. I started feeling sorry for myself, being annoyed at how such a great day had just been ruined, getting frustrated with other people because everything was just going wrong! And then God spoke to me in a great big deep voice and told me to straighten up. The end.

. . .

No, of course that's not what happened! It was definitely more of a soft whisper as God began to show me how childish I was being. I had just been enjoying a great day and thanking Him for everything and I let a few little things "ruin" it all!

For the first time, it really hit home for me that everything doesn't have to be going right for me to have a good day. This is the day The LORD has made, and because of that I will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalms 118:24). And not just when everything is working out perfectly.